youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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