Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Is it because I queefed?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Randomize
