Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
