Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
