i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
