I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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