so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
