awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
