of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
