That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
