I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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