new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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