Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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