I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you traded sex for a burrito?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
