I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
