I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
