I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
