oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
