I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
