Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Randomize
