Do you still have your period?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
