They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
