i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
it hurts more in the daytime
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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