We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
