this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
