why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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