found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
