Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
