his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
