i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
