tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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