well I can't set my house on fire every night
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
