My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
