I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I smell stomach acid.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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