4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
