i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
