So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
