Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Randomize
