covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
