just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I think I just sharted jello shots
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
