Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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