you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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