you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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