Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize