Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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