she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Be still, my beating vagina.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
