haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Enjoy the penises
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
