dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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