dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
