i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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