Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
