Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize