girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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