I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
