Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
