That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
