She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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