her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
