I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
