Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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