do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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