And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
