You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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