I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just had sex on a roof
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
