either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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