he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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